Zombies are affectionately known around my house as Zombers. My wife is often critical of why I like shows like The Walking Dead and I am quick to point out I like it because it is not real. In reality if a Zombie Apocalypse occurred within a few days to a month there would be nothing but bones left. Once that blood stopped pumping and air stopped going into the lungs, decay is going to set in.

But since this is a blog about firearms and fermentation let’s look at the tools one might use to stop a zombie. Well, a maple mash paddle might be improvised as a club in the event of an outbreak. Of course we’d be assuming all we have seen on TV and the movies is true that you need to “kill” the head. In the world of beer I cannot see much else that might be useful except for a hydrometer or pipette into the eye socket in order to penetrate the brain. I’m more of a lets keep our distance guy so I’d probably look to the firearms to save the day. The problem is the shows always seem to indicate the Zombers react to noise. Now I actually find it hard to believe they would be able to see anything, hear anything or smell anything, but let’s assume for a minute that zombies are not truly dead in the traditional sense of the word, but have come back to live in an unalterable state in which they are partially alive and are hungry for man flesh. So if noise is going to be an issue I think a silencer is going to be in order, otherwise every goon in the vicinity is going to rain down on you and you better be ready to rumble.

My weapon of choice is probably going to be a 22 LR. The rounds are light and you could carry a metric buttload of them. Now you are going to need something light to fire them from which has a large capacity. Generally most semi-automatic pistols in .22 LR have a capacity of 10 rounds per magazine. I’d be looking for something in the 30 range so I might mod a Ruger 10/22 or get a S&W 15-22 and then carry a handgun as backup for when the long barrel is just not going to work. I mean you could carry a 357 magnum, but unless you have a Coonan 1911, the capacity is generally going to be six rounds and the weight of the extra cartridges is going to be an issue. 9mm or .380 ACP would be much lighter, but if all it takes is a knock to the brain I think a .22 LR will be the flavor of the day. Of course all this assumes the Zombers are slightly slow, but if those puppies can run and it takes something different to put out the lights all bets are off.

Anyway, give some thought about what you will do when the Zombie Apocalypse happens. If you don’t know what you would do, the CDC has a Preparedness Guide  on their website.

Have a safe night and Happy Halloween! ;)